Whether you're meeting for the first time on a dating app or you've been married for 50 years, every relationship could use a little romantic conversation. And sometimes, it's up to you to get the love convo started. These romantic conversation starters will take you from the very first Tinder contact all the way through rocking on the front porch with the love of your life.
Romantic Conversation Basics
In a fledgling (or potential) relationship, you don't want to be too romantic right off the bat. But you can definitely show interest and even flirt a little. Be sure to keep your own personality and viewpoint in mind when looking for romantic ways to start conversations. If you're trying to spark a conversation with someone that you know, be sure to take their personality into account, too.
There are several people you might start a romantic conversation with, and each requires a different approach:
- Someone on a dating app
- Someone you've just met or are hoping to meet
- A friend you'd like to have as more than a friend
- Someone you're dating
- Your spouse
How to Start a Romantic Conversation on Tinder (& Dating Apps)
We'd be remiss if we didn't acknowledge that modern dating often starts on Tinder or another dating app. But aside from the basic, "Hey" or "'Sup?," how do you get a romantic conversation started? We have a few romantic ideas.
- I love your images and notice in a few you seem to be at ____________. I love it there! What would we do if we could go there together?
- I see from your profile you like to (activity). I've always wanted to try that! What kind of teacher would you be if you taught me to do it?
- Your photos make you look pretty adventurous. What adventure could we share?
- Your profile makes you seem pretty funny. Quick... make me laugh.
- Looks like we went to the same uni! Do you think we ever met there?
- Wow! It looks like you traveled to (place). Me too. I'd love to compare notes.
- Our Spotify playlists are so similar! What concerts do you think we would enjoy together?
Romantic Conversation Starters for Someone New
If you are looking to start a romantic conversation with someone that you don't know or don't know well, these tips can help make the conversation cute instead of creepy.
- For many, one of the most romantic things is a shared interest. For example, if you approach someone at a cafe who is reading National Geographic, you could point out how romantic you think it would be to explore all the natural wonders of the world. Try to pick up on the subtle details that people project to others.
- When you don't know someone, one of the best conversation starters is a quick intro. Sometimes, being approached by a random person can be obtrusive, but if you lead with a joke, you may find that the other person finds you endearing.
- A great way to make someone feel something romantic is to genuinely make them feel special. Find a way to make someone feel like he or she is the only person you have any interest in speaking to, and the romance may find its way into a conversation on its own.
- If you're beginning to date on the internet, consider ideas for the best opening lines for online dating.
Examples of Romantic Introductions
A romantic introduction can involve sweet or flirty pickup lines. A few romantic conversation lines that you can lead with when approaching someone new are:
- My name is Mark, and I'm new around here. I was wondering if I could just talk to you for a while because you're the first person who's made this city feel like home.
- You know, I've always thought that there's a good amount of romance in waiting for the bus, don't you?
- So, I've been trying to think of something clever to say to you, but I can't get my foot out of my mouth, so I'll go with hello, I'm Kate.
- Did you notice how much this place, and us standing/sitting here looks like the opening of a Hallmark movie?
- I don't mean to be forward, but has anyone ever told you your eyes look like (sunflowers, the ocean at sunset, etc.)?
- Do you know how people in books or movies always have awkward first meetings that turn into something special? Maybe this is one of those moments.
- You like (insert band name from their tattoo, t-shirt, etc.)? I think their song (insert song title) is so romantic.
- I thought I was having a really great day, but then I saw you, and it got so much better.
Romantic Conversation Starters for a Crush
Turning your crush into a date or romantic relationship is scary, but romantic conversation starters can help you take the leap in a sweet way. When you know how to compliment someone without being awkward, you can use that as your opening line to start a conversation. Keep your opening statement or question romantic but not intimate so you don't intimidate your crush or give them the wrong impression.
- Try to keep your conversation private so neither of you is embarrassed by the other's response.
- Make your conversation starter personal, but not so personal you end up looking like a stalker.
- Use an opening line or question that's obviously romantic, so they know your intention.
Romantic Lines to Use With a Crush
When approaching your crush to open a line of romantic communication, try out a compliment or intriguing question.
- I've been thinking about you a lot lately and finally worked up the courage to ask if you ever think about me.
- Hey, I was wondering if I could walk you to class today. I'd really like to spend more time with just you.
- Have you ever wondered why they call a crush a crush? I mean, when I think about you it feels a lot more pleasant than the word "crush" sounds.
- What is something you'd consider a small romantic gesture? I'm asking because I'd like to do something like that for you.
- Do you think romance is dead? If so, I'd like to resurrect it just for you.
- If a guy were to introduce himself to you, what would be the best approach for him to take if he wanted a chance at something special with you?
- I thought I wanted to ask you on a date, but then I realized what I really want is the chance to get to know you better.
- I really like who I think you are, but I'd love the chance to find out if my hunch is right.
Romantic Conversation Starters for Dating Couples
If you are already dating someone, conversation starters can still be useful when you're looking to put romance back on the table or to keep things fresh. You may want to lead the conversation in an amorous direction for an evening or inject some spice into the relationship. No matter how long you've been dating, consider a few of the following tips for your next conversation with your partner:
- When two people are already in a relationship, the easiest way to turn any conversation romantic is with mood. Candles and dinner or other highly romantic atmospheres can change a basic conversation into a romantic one.
- When in a relationship, the most romantic thing to talk about is the future and what the other person means to you. Consider leading off a conversation by telling your partner that they are your world.
- Any conversation that brings two people closer can feel like the most romantic conversation in the world. Ask probing questions or share personal information with your partner to get the personal connection you're seeking.
Examples of Romantic Lines for Dating Couples
A few romantic conversation lines that you can try are:
- I just wanted to take a minute and let you know how much you mean to me. I love spending time with you and am excited to see where this ends up going.
- I love you. That's all I wanted to say.
- When I was a kid, I always wanted to get a little house on a hill and a Bloodhound that I could name Rover. Did you ever think about that type of stuff?
- I've stopped drinking coffee in the mornings because waking up knowing I get to see or talk to you every day gives me all the energy I need.
- Do you ever look at our relationship and think, "Wow! This is just like in the movies?"
- Have you ever noticed how people look at us when we're out together? It's like they can tell we're going to be together forever.
- My perfect date night is anything that includes you.
- How many dates did it take for you to start looking at me in a romantic way? For me, it was (insert number of dates).
Romantic Conversation Starters for Online Dating
Since much of online dating takes place through instant messaging, you want to make sure your romantic conversation starters are clear in tone and message. Whether you're sending that first message to a match or trying to take your chats to the next level, a little romance can go a long way. Some tips for upping your chat room flirt game include:
- Use capitalization, punctuation, and emojis properly and sparingly so they help set the tone of your message.
- Say out loud what you're thinking of typing to help you gauge whether it comes across as you intended.
- Treat the conversation like an in-person conversation so it doesn't get too cliche.
Romantic Ways to Converse Online
Clever ice-breaker jokes for online dating can help get romantic conversations started online when they feature elements of romance. Other romantic conversation starters to use on dating apps and websites include:
- Reading text doesn't always get the message across, do you mind if I set the tone for this conversation at "romantic?"
- It's been really great messaging with you, but I can't wait to finally meet you in person.
- Some people need gifts and mood lighting to feel like they're being romanced, but all I need to see are your words.
- Do you ever feel like we're the modern-day Sleepless in Seattle?
- Lately, I've been feeling like we could be the next spokes couple for (dating site/app name). Don't you?
- I'm really glad we met online first. Getting to know you this way has been better than any first date I can imagine.
- I don't know about you, but I'm thinking now's probably a good time to start deleting my accounts on every other dating site/app.
- I love that it's so easy for me to let you know I'm thinking of you any time of day or night.
Romantic Conversation Starters for Married Couples
When you get married, you'll get lots of advice on romantic things to say to your lover to make your marriage feel special far beyond the honeymoon. If you've been married for decades, you can run out of those ideas. Finding touching things to say to the one you love after years of marriage can be difficult, but with a little effort you can always find a new way to say "I love you."
- Start off every planned date night with a romantic conversation starter to quickly get the mood changed.
- Leave notes for your spouse with romantic lines and questions so you can communicate and feel the romance even when you're not together.
- Keep in mind there is always something new you can learn about your spouse at any point in your marriage.
Romantic Conversation Topics for Your Spouse
Since you already know a lot about your spouse, use romantic conversation starters to learn new things or find new ways to share how you feel about them.
- You're everything I never knew I wanted or needed.
- How do you think our love has changed each of us for the better?
- If you could go back in time and do our wedding day all over again, would you want it to look any different?
- I have all these feelings for you that I feel every day, I just don't know how to put them into words.
- If we wrote a book about our marriage, what would it be called and how would it help other married couples?
- Just when I think I know all there is to know about you, I make another exciting discovery. Like today, I discovered (insert something sweet about your spouse).
- Every challenge we've ever faced has been worth it because it brought us to this place together.
- Do you realize how much we've built together on love alone?
Romantic Conversation Starters for Phone Calls/Texts
Conversation starters for texting or talking on the phone with a romantic partner or potential date can be more difficult than talking in person. Even though you can hide behind the phone a little, it can be to your detriment because your body language can't help send your message. Treat calls and texts like in-person conversations, and you'll find the most success.
Examples of Romantic Phone Conversations
Finding interesting things to talk about on the phone that spark romance can be challenging, but it can help build anticipation and set the mood long before you're face-to-face.
- Even though I can't see you right now, I can still feel your emotions.
- I know you've had a busy day, but I'm most interested in hearing about your thoughts today.
- Can we please just close our eyes and imagine we're sitting next to each other while we talk/text?
- My day is really missing something, and I couldn't figure it out until I heard your voice/saw your message.
- My friends say my whole face changes when I see it's you calling/texting. What do you think that means?
- Whenever I see it's you on the phone, I feel this weight lift off my shoulders, and I'm instantly comfortable.
- It only takes a second to read your text, but that second lasts a lifetime for me.
Deep Romantic Conversation Starters
Romance is mostly about intimacy and deep sharing, so stimulating deep relationship questions can be really romantic, too. Deep romantic conversations are best for couples who have been together for some time, but they can also help you accurately gauge if a new date has any future potential. Make sure the other person is open to deep topics before you bring one up so they find it romantic instead of probing.
Romantic and Deep Conversation Topics
Deep romance is all about intense feelings or emotions and provokes thinking far below the surface.
- Would you say that love grows over time, evolves, or both?
- If I could talk to your heart, what would I hear it saying now?
- I can't truly remember what my life was like without you in it. Do you ever get that feeling, like we've always been together?
- Close your eyes and picture us both, gray-haired, in rocking chairs. What do you see?
- How do you know, really know, what I feel for you?
- If you could only receive one romantic gesture over and over for the rest of your life, which would you choose?
- Has there ever been a time in our relationship when you got goosebumps from words or actions?
Funny and Romantic Conversation Starters
Funny and romantic don't always go together in real life, but rom-coms are proof that fun questions to ask your lover can also feel romantic. The key to mixing humor and romance is eliminating the cheese factor.
Examples of Romantic Conversation Starters With Humor
Look for ways to make a simple, yet not hilarious, joke as you compliment the other person or ask them a meaningful question.
- Isn't it funny how even the most intelligent man can't see that a woman is everything he needs, even if she's standing right in front of his face?
- I wanted to use one of those cheesy pickup lines to get your attention, but I realized I'd rather just give you my attention.
- Awkward conversations are the worst, so how about we just start this one off knowing it's going to be meaningful?
- I'm usually pretty clumsy, but it's worth the risk if the next step is with you.
- I hardly remember the first time we met, but I have no doubt everything that comes next with you will be unforgettable.
- When you catch feelings, it's called a crush. Then you get to puppy love, then the honeymoon stage. What should they call the best part of a relationship? You know — the part we're in now?
- Candlelight dinners and picnics on the beach are so cliche, but they sound really nice when I imagine doing them with you.
Starting Conversations With Romance
Looking for a little romance in your life and think conversation can be a step in the right direction? While you're right to start small, don't get discouraged if romance doesn't begin to flutter immediately. Sometimes, romantic conversations can't be forced, and trying to do so will make things uncomfortable. Take your time, and you're sure to have all the romance you are looking for!
