If you're dating a guy who doesn't seem to want to take your relationship to the next level, you are probably wondering, "Why do some men have commitment issues?" Understanding the reason why your guy fails to commit will help you make the decision of whether you should stay in the relationship or move on.
Why Do Some Men Have Commitment Issues?
When thinking about the reasons why men have commitment issues, it's useful to look at the guy's past relationships with lovers, family members and friends. The experiences in these past relationships often affect future relationships, especially in the area of commitment.
Fear of Rejection
Many men have a difficult time fully investing their emotions into a relationship because they have experienced rejection. They may have felt strongly for someone, only for that person to love him back but then walk away or a person didn't care for him as deeply as he did and that caused deep hurt feelings.
Fear of Changing His Ways
Some men become comfortable in their lives and they don't like change. A man with this fear won't want to move on to a new stage in a relationship because that means a change in his life. While it may be better than the life he has now, he doesn't know for sure and that is what keeps him from moving forward.
Fear of Failure
Some men think committing themselves to a relationship means they must meet certain expectations. These men are usually perfectionists and don't want to enter into a situation in which they know they might not be able to excel. For this reason, they avoid commitment because they don't want to fail.
Independence
Many men grow up to think they don't need anyone for anything. They are expected to take care of themselves and not depend on anyone, especially a woman. While some men may view relationships as a way to care for someone else, others view it as having someone take care of them. This keeps these types of men from committing to someone.
Inability to Share Life
Some men have a huge commitment to the lives they have created for themselves. A man in this category may be highly successful and could have reached a level in his career that makes him financially secure. Some men are not willing to share this success in fear that their significant others will take advantage of them.
Fear of an Identity Change
Not only do men fear that their lives will change, they also fear their identities may change. Men have a certain image of what it means to be in a committed relationship or be married, and this image usually produces a certain type of person. If the man doesn't see himself as being that type of person, he is not willing to enter a committed relationship due to the fear that he will become that type of person.
Keeping Options Available
Some people who are always looking for the next best thing will not commit because they don't want to close the door on other opportunities. They don't want to settle down because they always wonder if there is someone else better for them.
Already Committed
Men who have commitment issues in one relationship may have already committed themselves to someone else. If men who have problems with letting go of past relationships never really uncommit themselves, it makes it impossible for them to commit to someone else.
What to Do About Your Man's Commitment Issues
Men with commitment issues are afraid and many of them are unwilling to change. They are set in their ways and have lingering issues from past relationships. Discussing the reasons why they may have commitment issues can open the door to explore ways to resolve the conflict they have inside themselves. If he is afraid his life will change dramatically, you can suggest that you try the next level of the relationship and see how it feels. If it's not comfortable for him, you can promise to go back to the way things are now. Chances are, the change in your relationship is not as bad as he anticipates and he may be surprised at how much better it is.
Of course, practicing marriage is not as easy to do. If your man is unwilling to commit to marriage, you need to decide if you want to wait or move on to someone else. However, before you do decide, consider couple's therapy because it is a great way to explore his commitment issues and find resolutions in your relationship. Why do some men have commitment issues? There are several reasons. The key to getting past the inability to commit is to find out which fear your man has and address it accordingly.
