For years, I colored or highlighted my dark brown hair to hide the greys. Then, one day, I noticed a grey hair in my eyebrows. It was easy enough to take care of. One pluck, and it was gone. But as time passed, I realized that my method of dealing with the eyebrow greys would leave me either looking permanently surprised or completely eyebrowless. And that's when I realized it might be time to allow the sparkly greys on my head to shine.
My Hair Was Meticulously Maintained
Here's where I started. It should be noted that I started the process in 2021 when I was 56 years old. I went to the salon every six weeks and had balayage along with a base color. It took about 3 hours and cost me around $300 a pop. Between colors, I also used a root touch-up to hide the roots.
I really had no idea what the state of my natural hair color was. I'd had a peek of it during COVID, but trust me when I tell you that as soon as I could get to the salon, I did. In the meantime, I went through a lot of root touch-up and lived my life in denial.
Ironically, I did a ton of TV and video podcast appearances during COVID (more than I'd ever done before), and my hair was awful. Which is why I went through so much root touch-up spray. But on my private Facebook page, in that long early 2020 stretch between salon visits, I posted a photo of me without root touchup, showing just how much grey I had in my hair.
And then I was a guest on someone's podcast. She was also a Facebook connection, and without telling or asking me, she used THAT photo (because of course she did) as the image to promo my appearance on her show.
I. Was. Horrified. And I headed back to the salon just as soon as they opened back up and resumed my routine.
It Was a Surprisingly Easy Decision
So with all that, it might be surprising to hear that the decision to go grey wasn't that hard for me. Less than a year later, I was on my journey to grey. I'd love to tell you I agonized over the decision, but I really didn't. One day, I just decided it was time. I was done with spending $300 on my hair every six weeks and having to use a root touch-up in between. I was also on a simplifying my life kick that I was really enjoying, and letting my hair go grey seemed the ultimate act of simplicity and authenticity.
Of course, I wasn't fully committed yet. It was an experiment that I could reverse at any moment. And honestly, I kind of thought I would.
I have a group of good friends right in my age range, all of whom, at the time, didn't have a grey on their heads. I'm not saying they didn't have to work to maintain that — we all spent some serious time and money at the salon. Likewise, my two sisters (one older and one younger) were both free of greys, too. In other words, if I actually went through with it and grew my grey hair out, I was going to be the lone grey wolf. Even with that, I was ready to take the plunge.
The Transition Wasn't As Bad As I Thought (Except That One Time)
I talked to my stylists and colorist going in (I had one of each), and we had a plan to transition that would make it fairly smooth. I'm not sure exactly what they did, but the one thing we didn't do was hide the greys anymore. And then, mid-transition, my stylist graduated from college and became a teacher. And then IT happened.
The haircut from hell.
I've always said that I'd rather leave a marriage than break up with my hairstylist (sorry, honey). We'd been together a long time. So, with great trepidation after years with Edward, I went to someone else. And in spite of me being very specific about what I wanted, she gave me The Edna.
What's The Edna, you ask? Think about Edna in The Incredibles. THAT WAS THE CUT! I will not be posting pictures. Sorry. In the past, I could always make my hair look cute no matter what. I couldn't make this look cute.
It was horrible, but it also gave me resolve. Since my hair looked like crap anyway, and a bunch of the dark stuff was now cut off, I kept with it because having half-gray hair wasn't going to make me look any worse. And fortunately, hair grows.
It Took Two Years
In total, the process took about two years. And, with the exception of The Edna, I never felt self-conscious. In fact, there were times I really liked it, and I was excited to see where it would eventually all come out. And contrary to what I thought would happen (with the exception of The Edna), I never wanted to go back to what I had before.
The Result: I Love Everything About It
Eventually The Edna grew out, and I could make my hair cute again. And over time, I stopped having any color treatments. And about a year ago, at another new stylist, she said, "That's it. I just cut the remaining color out of your hair." I held my breath as she turned me towards the mirror, expecting The Edna again. Instead, there I was. The natural me I hadn't seen in a long, long time. And I really liked her.
Now, I get my hair trimmed about every six weeks. It takes less than an hour and costs under $100. It's heaven. And I really love my wisdom sparkles. They just look more authentically me, and dang it, I have earned every single one of the greys on my head.
One surprising result is that it's like I was the first domino in a long line of dominoes. A lot of my friends are now doing the same thing. One of my sisters is in the first part of the process, and the other is thinking seriously about letting her greys come through. One of my friends is bravely growing out her grey without any transitional color — just letting the roots fall where they may.
And every single one of them looks fabulous.
Letting My Light Shine
I turn 59 in just a few weeks. And while I have a ton of grey, I also still have a lot of my natural brown. And I'm super happy with my hair.
Last month, my husband and I were in Sedona with some friends. We were out hiking, and I took a selfie when we reached the summit with Sedona in the background. It's the photo that's at the top of this article.
When I first saw it, I thought, OMG, who is that old lady? And then, the more I looked at it, the more I loved it. This is me, and I've worked for 59 years to get here. In the photo, I'm happy and at peace, and I think it's absolutely beautiful. It's also totally who and what I am right now.
I've come to a place of peace, joy, and contentment in my life. I feel healthy inside and out, and I'm perfectly okay being exactly who I am. It's the wisdom that comes with age and experience, knowing myself, and feeling free to be myself.
This is who I am. I have a few more wrinkles, and I'm a lot greyer. And I have earned and learned for every single wisdom sparkle that shines in my hair. I can't imagine ever going back.
