Am I headed in the right direction? How would I know? Is there even a right direction? If you're an overthinker like I am, you probably ask yourself questions all the time. The thing is, I've found that certain topics are way more useful than others.
It's easy to get into a routine of work, parenting, and just general adulting, but I like to take a sec every now and then to reassess with questions that actually get at the heart of what matters in my life. Here are the things I try to ask myself every few months so I can keep growing as a person.
What's One Small Thing I Could Do to Improve My Life Right Now?
There are tons of little things that interfere with our happiness on a daily basis. From the clutter that accumulates on the kitchen counter to the hectic morning routine, these small stressors add up. I like to pick one or two of these to fix for an instant life improvement. Ideally, this is something that is easy to deal with in a short amount of time by changing something up or buying a product that solves the problem.
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What Brings Me the Most Joy in My Daily Life?
I've found that leaning into the joy I feel in my day-to-day existence is a good way to make my life more satisfying. The first step is identifying what makes you happy. It can be little things like snuggling with your cat or sipping a cup of tea or bigger things like being creative on a daily basis. For me, it's time with my kids and space to make some art. Once you know what makes you joyful, you can add more of that to your day.
What Am I Putting Off?
Just as it's a good idea to know what makes you happy, it's also good to be honest with yourself about what you're putting off. I'm good at procrastinating; I've had years of experience. But I also like to take a look at what I'm putting off and tackle it sometimes. Often, this thing that I'm procrastinating about is actually a big source of anxiety. Once I get myself together and deal with it, I end up feeling a lot better.
In Five Years, Will I Care About That Thing That's Worrying Me?
Over the years, I've learned that some of the things that make me really anxious in the short term just don't matter at all in the long term. That bad haircut will only haunt you in photos (and photos are easy to destroy). It won't be affecting your life years from now. I try to ask myself this question often because I tend to worry a lot about pretty much everything.
What's Outside My Comfort Zone That I'd Really Like to Do Anyway?
I also like to give myself a push to step out of my comfort zone and try things that make me a little nervous. For example, a few years ago, I knew I needed to have more social connections in my life. I made myself attend a local photography club meeting. I didn't know anyone there, and I was really, really nervous. I'm so lucky I did that because now two of the people I met that day are my closest friends. If there's something you're scared to do, doing it can be a chance for major personal growth.
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What Are My Three Top Values Right Now?
I learned this question when my son and I were in family therapy. The therapist was helping him identify what he wanted to do with his life, and the whole family filled out a questionnaire about our top values. I realized mine had changed over the years, so now I try to check in with my values on a regular basis. You don't need a questionnaire to do this — just think about the three things that are most important to you in your life.
Once you know your values, you can compare them to what you're doing in your life. If you're living in a way that supports what's important to you, that's great! If not, there may be some changes you can make to put the rest of your life more in line with what you value.
What Habits Can I Create to Level Up My Life?
We think a lot about the habits we need to stop (like that third cup of coffee or the bedtime doomscrolling), but it's also really important to create new habits that make our lives easier. For me, that's just about reassessing what would be helpful. If I'm dealing with really hectic mornings, I try to get in the habit of making lunches the night before. Lately, I've been making exercise a priority because it helps my mental (and physical) health.
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How Would I Like My Life to Look in Three Months?
Three months from now, what would you like your life to look like? The difference between that vision and how it looks now is where you should focus your attention. I like to think about the me of three months in the future and what she's enjoying and appreciating. Then I can work on making that a reality. Often, this just means little changes, but asking this question can also reveal big areas for growth.
Three months is an arbitrary period that works for me, but you might want something longer or shorter. There's no wrong answer here; it's all about seeing the difference between what you have right now and what you want.
Take Stock so You Can Continue to Grow
Continuing to grow means taking stock of your life from time to time. I love doing this, even if I don't always love the work I need to do to get where I want to be. We live in a world of change, and we're always changing, too. Regular check-ins with ourselves can help us make sure we're changing in the right way.
