Getting someone to say they’re sorry is far easier than figuring out how to accept an apology. If you’re stuck in limbo with an apology in your hands, don’t worry. We’re here to help guide you out.
How to Accept an Apology
Finally getting an apology is one thing, but actually accepting it is another. You’re not alone if you’ve felt unsatisfied and maybe even resentful of an apology that needed to be said. If you’re struggling with how to accept an apology and aren’t sure what you can do to move past the roadblock, we have the perfect detour to help you.
Process Their Words by Waiting a While to Respond
When someone gives you an apology, and you’re staring into their expectant eyes, your first impulse is to tell them, “Thank you,” or some similar acknowledgment. But, brushing past the actual apology at a break-neck speed isn’t always the best idea.
You may benefit from sitting on the apology and processing it over the next few days or weeks. Let the person know that you heard them but that you need time to process what they’ve said. Ruminating on their apology may give you time to release any pent-up feelings that may be holding you back.
Identify Their Intention
As you take some time to process what they’ve said to you, an important thing to do is figure out their intentions. Are they apologizing because they’ve accepted their role in the situation and feel genuine remorse? Or are they trying to sweep things under the rug and get everything back to normal as quickly as possible?
The actual words they use can be rather telling. Short, unspecific apologies can be less genuine than ones that acknowledge actual fault. Similarly, if they put pressure on you to accept it and make you feel like you’re in the wrong for taking some time, they probably don’t have the best intentions.
Release Any Pent-Up Feelings
Sometimes, we jump the gun and get so focused on being angry or upset that we refuse to move past things when an apology has been given. Recognizing that your feelings are blocking acceptance is a powerful and mature move.
Releasing these feelings should free up space and energy to absorb the apology. Try journaling or talk therapy to identify the specific emotions you’re experiencing and which avenue for letting them go is best for you.
Related: How to Apologize When You Mess Up (Because We All Do)
Clearly Communicate That You’ve Accepted It
One way for everyone involved to feel like things are resolved is for you to verbally accept it. Telling someone, “I accept your apology and appreciate you following through with what you promised,” is an awesome way to remind your body and brain of what you’ve chosen to do.
Just like when you check on your kids in their playpen to make sure they’re there even when you know they are, sometimes your brain just needs a little reminder to believe it.
Acknowledge When the Apology Isn’t Adequate
If you’re beating yourself up over not being able to accept someone’s apology, then you may be trying to force your brain and body to do something they recognize isn’t right. Not every apology is built the same, and some aren’t adequate recompenses for the transgressions.
A simple “I’m sorry,” to an infidelity, theft, or fraud probably won’t cut it. Acknowledging when the apology needs to be better will give you the self-confidence to ask for a better one that you can accept.
15+ Ways to Accept an Apology
Being a wordsmith isn’t the name of everyone’s game. If you’re feeling tongue-tied, we’ve got you covered with a handful of ways to accept that apology.
- Thank you for saying that.
- I appreciate you apologizing to me.
- Thank you for apologizing for that.
- Thanks for apologizing.
- I appreciate you saying you’re sorry.
- Thank you for admitting that was wrong.
- I accept your apology.
- You’ve been forgiven.
- Don’t worry about it.
- It’s all water under the bridge.
- I already forgave you for that.
- Thank you for expressing your regret over your behavior.
- I appreciate you trying to make amends with that apology.
- Thank you for apologizing without trying to justify your behavior.
- Thanks for making a full apology.
- With an apology like that, there’s no way I can’t forgive you.
Accepting an Apology May Take Time
A true apology is a way to clean the slate, but feeling ready to do that may take more time for you than other people. But, when you’ve properly processed and thought about what they said and their intention, then you should be ready to move forward together.
