Don't let the "innocence" of first love fool you. Those teenage love problems you're experiencing now — like unrequited love and interference from your friends — are pretty common. Even the blush of first love can't save you from navigating the rough waters that are sometimes churned up in a relationship.
15 Common Problems in Love That Teenagers Face
Dating as a teen can certainly be complicated. Whether you're looking for guidance with a problem that you are experiencing now, or if you're just wondering what may be in store for you in the future, take some time to learn about the common problems teens face while dating and get insight in how to solve them.
Unrequited Love
It's pretty common to fall for someone who doesn't return your feelings, and it can certainly be painful. Keep in mind that just because one particular person does not share your interest, that does not mean that there is something wrong with you. That particular match just isn't right - possibly because of timing or fundamental differences that aren't apparent to you at this stage. Remember "when one door closes, another door opens."
In the same respect, if you're a teen who has never been kissed or in a relationship, you would be surprised at how many other teens or people in their 20s or even 30s are in the same boat as you. Don't worry about a lack of experience; living your life and just being happy are some of the best ways to attract someone. The right match will like you just the way you are.
How to Deal With Unreturned Love
Though you may think you noticed signals that your crush likes you as more than a friend, it could be that they're simply flirtatious in general with everyone. Clear communication is the quickest way to get to the bottom of whether someone likes you or not.
Unfaithful Partner(s)
Ultimately, everyone will have a different opinion about what they consider to be cheating and if it's something they want to end a relationship over. At the end of the day, you get to decide what boundary was or wasn't crossed and whether or not it's a dealbreaker.
How to Deal With an Unfaithful Partner
Take time to heal from the pain of the betrayal and set clear and firm boundaries with your future relationships.
Getting Your Crush to Notice You
Getting someone to notice you can be harder than you think. Find out what you have in common, and chat him up about that. Smile, and be yourself. If your love interest doesn't notice you and seems to return the attraction when you've spent time together, gotten to know each other, and you've even flirted a little, it may be time to move on to someone else. If they're just not that into you, find someone equally fabulous who is.
How to Deal With Getting Noticed
Getting someone to notice you can happen organically or you can methodically plan it. But always remember to be yourself! You want someone to notice you for who you really are and not who you want them to think you are.
A World of Firsts
First love is a good love problem to have, but it can also be like a rollercoaster ride. It's normal for the feelings to be intense. After all, the experiences are brand new, and you're also dealing with raging hormones, jealousy, and societal pressure to have sex. It can be hard to make the right decisions for your relationship and set the appropriate boundaries when you're being bombarded in every direction.
How to Deal With New Experiences
Try not to get swept away in your first love to the point where you give up time with friends and family. Ideally, you should find a balance between your relationship and the rest of your life.
Unwanted Interference From Your Friends
Even though teens might not like to admit it, chances are that you really care about what your friends think about you — and anyone that you may be dating. Peer pressure from your friends (and not wanting to upset them in return) can ruin a budding relationship.
Keep in mind that friends who make negative comments about your love interests might be motivated by a desire to protect you, but their intentions could be less than innocent. Listen to what they have to say, but make up your own mind.
How to Deal With Interference From Your Friends
Your friends can be extremely helpful in giving you different perspectives on aspects of your relationship. However, you should trust your gut and go with your instincts.
Immaturity
Teenagers are occasionally immature — and they're supposed to be! With still-developing minds, it's normal for them to react immaturely to difficult situations.
How to Deal With Immaturity
When young people haven't yet developed emotional maturity they can easily be compelled by their hormones. This isn't a good basis for a solid relationship — even if it does feel right.
Related: 9 Common Signs a Guy Likes You As More Than a Friend
Isolation
It's not healthy to get so involved with someone you are dating that the two of you become isolated from other people. Don't distance yourself from your friends just because you're in a relationship. While it's not uncommon to feel the need to be with your partner all the time, it's not good for either of you — or the other relationships in your life — in the long run.
It's human nature to need more than one person in your life. Isolation can be especially devastating if you break up. Keep your friends in your life and spend time with them, in addition to scheduling alone time with your romantic partner.
How to Deal With Isolation
Stay actively engaged with your friends and family to help you avoid isolation. If you allow your crush to become your everything, what do you have left if they leave you? Balance is the important takeaway with this one.
Poor Communication
Communication is an essential part of a relationship. It builds trust and prevents misunderstandings. When you don't talk to your boyfriend or girlfriend about your thoughts and feelings, you could be keeping your relationship from growing. Without growth, love isn't able to develop and continue. When you first start going out with someone, take your time opening up, but if you find that you aren't able to speak freely with this person after a good amount of time, that may be a sign of a serious problem.
If your partner doesn't open up to you, it may be a sign of a lack of trust or comfort. You can help this by asking questions and listening intently. The more your partner tells you, the more comfortable they'll be with telling you more.
How to Deal With Poor Communication
If you don't master communication - or at least make an effort to communicate, the relationship has a decreased chance of being successful. Recognize that neither of you is a mind reader and tell each other how you feel.
Commitment Challenges
As a teenager, you're still figuring out who you are going to be — and this can lead to differences in a desire for commitment in young relationships. It's common for one person to want a long-term commitment while the other person doesn't return feelings at the same level, or is simply not ready for a long-term commitment at a young age.
When commitment and feelings aren't reciprocated, it can become difficult for a relationship to continue. If you're the one pushing for commitment, stop and ask yourself what you really want. If you want to enjoy spending time with someone you care about, try to focus on the "now" instead of what may happen many years down the road. You still have plenty of growing and developing to do.
How to Deal With Commitment Challenges
Commitment issues can wreck a relationship. If you have commitment issues, work toward resolving them. If your partner has commitment issues, help them work toward resolution. Only 14% of teens currently in a relationship consider it a serious relationship, so don't be surprised if your partner's level of commitment is different from yours.
Disapproving Parents
Parental disapproval of teen relationships is very common, for a variety of reasons. Your parents may have concerns regarding whether or not you're truly ready to date or if the person you're interested in might not be a good influence. They may also not be ready to admit that their child is getting closer to adulthood.
If you're dealing with this, try to discuss your feelings calmly with your parents. Listen to them and be ready to follow some rules about your relationship. If your parents forbid you from seeing the person, you should abide by their wishes. You can still see your partner at school and remain friends. If you stay friends until after you graduate, you can start dating again since you'll be old enough to make your own decisions. While this may be hard to accept at first, there are ways you can make it work.
How to Deal With Disapproving Parents
It can be tough when parents don't approve of your partner, but unless your parents have a history of sabotaging things for no reason, there's a good chance they simply want what's best for you. Have frank discussions with your parents about their reasoning and be willing to be honest and straightforward. Perhaps your parents just haven't yet seen your partner's good side.
Life Changes
As high school graduation approaches, you'll face difficult decisions. You and your partner may go to different colleges, join the military, or move away to seek job prospects. Distance can make sustaining a relationship difficult. It is possible to keep a relationship going from a distance, but it isn't easy.
You may decide to break up or pursue a long-distance relationship. Both of you have to make great efforts to keep communication open and see each other whenever you can. It's also important that you both trust each other and resist temptation. By keeping the love you have for each other the focus in your life, you'll be able to stay strong through the distance.
How to Deal With Life Changes
Long-distance relationships can be hard, even for adults with years of relationship experience. Make an active attempt at staying connected despite the miles to see if your relationship is destined to last.
Calling It Quits
You're not looking forward to hurting your significant other's feelings, but if you feel that the relationship isn't working out, you're probably going to have to initiate a breakup. There are some ways to take the sting out of it for the other person. Do it in person, for example.
If you're in a long-distance relationship, using the phone will be better than sending a letter or a text. Don't point fingers; not only could it additionally hurt your ex's feelings, but if they want to continue the relationship, they could promise to change the things you mention, confusing you further.
Also, don't drag it out by avoiding the other person or making excuses about why you can't go out with them. A clean break is less stressful for everyone and you may be able to salvage a friendship later if the breakup doesn't get too messy.
How to Call It Quits
It's best to break up with as much respect as possible. Don't be vague in your intentions and consider the other person's feelings.
Related: What to Say When You Want to Break Up: Classy & Kind Options
Abusive Behaviors
If you're in an abusive relationship, alert your parents or another adult figure in your life. Don't break up with the abuser when you're completely alone together. Remember that the abuser is the one with the problem; the abuse has nothing to do with you. Surround yourself with family and friends as you ready yourself to leave the relationship.
On average, violent behavior in relationships starts between the ages of 12 and 18. For additional information, check with TeensAgainstAbuse.org.
How to Deal With Abusive Behavior
Interpersonal violence and abuse comes in more than one form. If your partner tries to control you or makes you feel insignificant, it's obvious they're not the one for you. Of all the advice you get on teenage dating, the suggestion to swiftly leave an abusive relationship is the most important.
Getting Broken-Up With
Take a deep breath. Just because the relationship didn't work out the way you'd hoped doesn't make you less of a person. Set a time limit for yourself to be sad, stay in, watch movies, eat ice, or whatever makes you feel comforted.
After that, get back to life as usual, and don't forget to be your fabulous self. Enjoy being single for a while, fill your weekends with things you love to do, and the right person will show up eventually. Getting dumped does hurt your ego, but enlist your best friends and closest family members to help you remember everything you have to offer. You'll be back to normal before you know it!
How to Deal With Getting Broken Up With
Allow yourself time to heal from a breakup. This is definitely an instance when time can help heal the wounds. How long should you expect your relationship to last until it ends? If you're over 16, averages say around two years — but remember that's merely an average from teenage relationship facts so yours might be shorter or longer.
Being Attracted to a Friend's Ex
Should you or shouldn't you date someone who used to go out with your friend? In most cases, the answer to whether or not you should date a friend's ex is a resounding no. There are some exceptions, however.
If they didn't date for very long and mutually decided that they were better off as friends, it could be fine. Another time it could be okay is if they dated long ago, and there are no leftover feelings. Ask your friend's opinion first. Be aware that your friend may tell you it's fine even when it isn't. Watch closely for body language cues. Keep in mind that your friend won't want to hear the details of your relationship and be ready to make a choice between the two if it does become a problem.
How to Deal With Being Attracted to a Friend's Ex
It can feel as though you're "cheating" on your friend when you date their ex, but you may find your friend doesn't actually mind as long as you are open and honest. If you have nothing to hide, don't try to.
First Love Is Full of Ups and Downs
If you're a teenager dealing with difficulties in love, you're not alone. Most teen relationships don't make it — but they're beautiful and meant to be cherished all the same. With a little practice and some time, you'll be a whizz at navigating love's challenges.
