Your eyes meet across the room, and you feel a spark. Wait... they must feel it, too. They're walking towards you with a smile on their face. Do you a) smile back and get ready to flirt, b) freeze like a deer in headlights, or c) blush and run away? Yeah — we've all been there, feeling a little awkward as our crush walks towards us and trying to decide whether to flee, freeze, or flirt. But if you want to connect with your crush, don't flee. Instead, take a deep breath, brush up on how to flirt, and get ready to crush it with your crush. You've totally got this.
Top 10 Ways to Flirt With Your Crush
Are they still walking your way? Then put down your phone and get in there! You can totally do this. Especially with one of our 10 best ways to get your flirt on.
- Make eye contact.
- Offer a genuine compliment.
- Ask them questions about themselves.
- Show you're listening to what they say.
- Talk about things you have in common.
- Share laughter.
- Keep it light.
- Smile.
- If you both seem comfortable, try a light touch.
- Be yourself.
1. Make Eye Contact
We're not suggesting you stare your crush down as they walk towards you. That could come off a little creepy. But you can definitely take some quick peeks into their eyes as they come towards you. Then, when you're talking to them, make eye contact. Not that super intense never blinking and never looking away eye contact. But when they talk to you, and you talk to them, make sure you're looking into their eyes at least part of the time. It shows you're interested in what they have to say and confident in what you have to say.
2. Offer a Genuine Compliment
If you've liked your crush for a while, there are probably good reasons for that. And one of those reasons is the perfect place to start with a genuine compliment. Focus on something that's not related to looks (which can come off as shallow), such as, "I saw you in the play, and you were so great!" or, "I thought your answer in our book group the other day was super insightful." No need to gush or pile on the flattery. Just offer a genuine compliment to show that you like them.
3. Ask Them Questions About Themselves
This isn't a job interview or anything, but almost everyone loves to talk about themselves, and we bet your crush is no different. So you can follow up your compliment with a question about what you just said, such as, "What did you like about your role?" or, "Tell me more about why you felt that way about the book." Then, give them plenty of space to answer your question.
Related: Undeniable Signs of Flirting
4. Show You're Listening to What They Say
As they answer your question, you can show you're listening by continuing your (non-creepy) eye contact, making affirming noises like, "Uh huh" or "That's cool," and using a skill called reflective listening.
Reflective listening starts with genuinely hearing what they're saying. Then, you mirror back something they said, so for instance, if your crush tells you that they really liked their role in the play because it was so different from their own personality, you might say, "Oh it was really different from you, huh?" You can also show you're listening by following up with insightful questions like, "What about it was so different from your personality?"
5. Talk About Things You Have in Common
After you've heard what your crush has to say and how they've answered your questions, it's probably your turn to talk. You can continue conversationally by mentioning something that the two of you have in common from what they've said or what you know of them. For instance, you could mention that you've always wanted to be in a play and have even taken acting lessons.
Just make sure that whatever you discuss is something you're truly interested in, and not something you're just making up so the other person likes you. You don't want to get stuck trying to sound interested in something you have no interest in. Great common ground topics include music, sports teams, hobbies, movies and TV, or mutual friends.
6. Share Laughter
A shared sense of humor is so attractive. So if your crush makes a joke that you find genuinely funny, definitely laugh at it. Look... you don't need to be a stand-up comedian or anything, but you can talk about things you both find funny like TikTok videos or comedians you both like. Laughing together is a great way to flirt and show ongoing interest.
7. Keep It Light
Initial flirty contact is not the time to reveal your deepest, darkest secrets. Keep the topics light and in a getting-to-know-you vein. Think bands, a shared interest in manga, mutual friends, a fun art exhibit you recently went to, or a light and funny (but true) anecdote. Don't reveal your entire dating history and all your insecurities, and whatever you do, avoid political and religious conversations or gossip, which are the third rails of flirting.
8. Smile
Smile if it's genuine. Don't get so focused on what your face is doing that it gets awkward, but if it feels right, smiling is very flirty behavior. We don't want a fixed clown-like smile that can come off creepy at worst or inauthentic at best. But as they talk to you, smile at what they say, nod to show you're listening, and keep your face relaxed and casual. If you suddenly realize you don't really know what to do with your arms (who hasn't been there, amiright?), take an imperceptible deep breath and smile at them instead.
9. If You Both Seem Comfortable, Try a Light Touch
So here's the thing. We don't want this to be super intense. It's more like lightly tapping them on the arm when they make you laugh (Not too hard. No slapping!) or lightly brushing your shoulder against theirs. These barely-there touches can convey interest and keep things natural, flirty, and fun.
Don't do it too much or go in too hard. Just one or two of these quick touches can be enough to do the job. If they seem to respond negatively to your touch (pulling away, frowning, or closed body language), don't repeat the touch. If they respond positively with a smile or light touch of their own, you can try another.
10. Be Yourself
There's nothing flirtier than authenticity. In your pursuit of the flirt, don't turn into someone you're not. Instead, do what feels natural to you, share honest anecdotes about yourself, and ask questions about what truly interests you about them. Ultimately, who you are will shine through, and sharing your genuine self with someone is the absolute best way to flirt.
The Art of Flirting
Flirting doesn't have to be big or noticeable. It's all about doing small things that show who you are and that you appreciate who they are. So if your crush is still walking towards you, get in there. You can totally do this.
